He’s here. It’s been a while. He even waited patiently for a long time, longing in one hand and love in the other. In the end, he respected and accepted it, even though it was not easy. He had learned his lesson. He thought that love is meaningless unless it contains trust. Trust is actually sincerity; reality and sincerity. It hurt, it touched his heart, he was hurt, he was sad, he wanted to cry out, he wanted to reproach. He couldn’t, he shouldn’t. And how beautifully they hugged each other…
He put his hope back in his suitcase. He looked back for the last time at the letter he had left on the bench. He turned and left.
He jumped up at the sound of ‘wake up’ whispered in his ear. The room was warmed by the warm rays of the sun. He turned his head to the window and his eyes met the clear and peaceful sky. Was it a dream? Was everything he felt from head to toe really a dream? He looked at the digital clock next to him; it read 10:22. He still didn’t know if it was real or imagined. His pulse was racing. In uncertainty, he turned back to the window and stared at the birds flying in the sky. They were flying in harmony, together; this way and that. Suddenly they scattered, separated from each other. Harmony is broken, chaos is created. Then they came together again and continued to fly, this time in even more beautiful harmony. He realized that rebuilding requires first becoming a wasteland.
He realized the object in his hand and flinched. He clutched another hand as if holding it tightly, so as not to be separated. Hands, those hands. When he opened his hand, he was surprised. The letter was the one he had left on the bench in his dream. The world seemed to stop. He couldn’t understand what had happened. It’s all messed up. Was it real and not a dream? Didn’t he leave the letter? Was he the one who went and found the letter but did not reach it? She gasped. He couldn’t breathe anymore. Was all that reproach to himself? When he was so hurt, was it he who hurt? He was even more upset at the possibility that it was he who was upset. This was the last thing he wanted: to hurt the one he loved. His mind, heart and soul were confused. Who was who? What was what? He couldn’t figure it out. All he felt now was the pain in his heart, all he wanted was for it to go away. But he was powerless to stop it.
I promise, my God, he said, I promise…. just ease this pain inside me!
And he decided to sleep. Maybe this too was a dream and hopefully it would pass when he woke up.
He glanced at the letter before closing his eyes with the desire to ‘wake up’ again. Hz. There was a quote by Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi;
“There is a place beyond all sins and good deeds. I will meet you there.”
