Then Dance

Dilek Türel
4 minutes

Turn the key twice in your heart. It’s the only way to open the locks. And to end duality. We have come together to experience solitude. To dream of undivided times. To rule between the realms in the blink of an eye. Hence the endless search and the urgency in you.

I used to be very anxious too. I was the wind in my own fire, anxious to calm the crowd in my head, to try to silence the voices. I was ranting and raving, thinking that if they would stop talking in unison, I could clean up my life. But they didn’t shut up and I couldn’t turn over a new leaf. I have just learned to be born every day, to meet a fresh me, to not hear that noise.

Nothing will be silent. Nothing will stop. You will be the word, motion will envelop your shadow. At that moment, your fears will be over. All the imperious sentences you have formed to understand and be understood, all the shallow words you have overused will fall off. You will feel that you are experiencing much more than words and you will get rid of the weights and the noise. You will float up to the sky as a smoking letter.

I know. The relationships you experience in your rush for completion and the crashes you fall flat on your face are like exam papers handed out by a teacher with poor grades. I also had a hard time in my time. You think questions always come from places you don’t know. You are only the addressee of questions whose answers you know from eternity.

I found the answers when I unlocked my heart. When you break the idols inside. It was one sentence before we fell to earth that we imprisoned the Creator in our suspicions and turned away from the source of existence. Then we created countless gods for our ego. We worship unconditionally what we have created with our own hands. We have become slaves to everything we believe we have. Most of all the borders we draw.

I directed the questions to the shrine in my chest. I stopped looking for heroes who I hoped would liberate me. My self rejected the sanctities placed in temples, imposed, licensed. They were as human as me. Perhaps less human in its glorified and polished aspects. I could not submit to their power behind their role as saviors. I have never trusted ready-made answers. I took refuge in the only unmonitored place: my daydreams.

Dreams became a road map that whispered the location of the key to my heart. Life had put that key in a place I’d never look. Inside myself. I crossed my mountains of fear and followed my river of arrogance. I stumbled along the Riya valley. When the sea of hope appeared on the horizon, I dived into my forest of tranquility. I walked without stopping. Until I found my tree of conscience, I took my life in my stride. There it was, shining like gold on one of the highest branches. I climbed up and got it.

Two turns in my heart and all the locks unlocked. All shapes have been erased from the map. Heaven and earth are one. Fire and water in full force. Space is an ocean, time is only this moment. We are all mixed in the universe.

No rush, no hurry. Everything is in its place, as it should be. Where do I start? Where do you end up? How many breaths away are you from the range of my heart? You and I are both intertwined and separate. Which great choreographer staged this dance we orbit around each other?

What if I’m one of your infinite possibilities? Or if I’m a glazed image from somewhere in time? Can you look at me with those eyes again? Will your repentance echo with the same sound in this body? Can you describe me to you in the same words? What painter can draw me in you?

We are two silent letters. When we come together, we are not read. But alone and with some of them, we speak a lot. What keeps us together? Our loneliness Our lonelinesses that have been standing next to each other since day one. Now you know where the key is. And the way to reach it. The answers are under our heart seal.

To read and be read, come now, take a vowel on your left side. The question that life asks each of us keeps repeating: “Will you dance with me?”

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