Our topic is communication. Our introduction will be on the elements of communication and methods of communication, but first I would like to quote a few sentences – for now seemingly independent.
“Wei Wu Wei” is translated in Chinese as ‘action without action’ or ‘doing nothing’. It is not about doing nothing, but about consciously doing nothing. The teaching of “Wei Wu Wei” comes from Lao Tzu, considered the founder of Taoism. Taoism, along with Confucianism, is one of the two major local religious-philosophical systems that have shaped every aspect of life in China for more than 2000 years. It derives from the concept of Tao (dao), which basically means path.
Lao Tzu, who is thought to have written the Tao philosophy in the 6th century BC, is said to have disappeared immediately after writing his work. Through his work, which he brought into existence with his absence, he conveyed a teaching about ‘being’ as ‘non-existent’. A German saying came to my mind here, and I can’t help adding it; they say ‘willst du gelten, mach dich selten’. If you want to be relevant, you have to be rare. So if you want to exist, disappear.
O existence in non-existence… I would like to say many words to you now, but I would be out of my depth. Let me close by opening with a quote by Sâmiha Ayverdi: “Whatever is seen, it does not exist; it is an absence that shows existence. Whatever is not seen, it is a presence hidden by the veil of absence.”
And let’s get back to our main topic, which is communication. There are a number of basic elements in communication: The first is the ‘source’, that is, the answer to the question WHO said it. Another element is the ‘message’, i.e. the answer to the question WHAT he said. The other element is the ‘Tool’, i.e. the answer to the question WHICH way he said it, which we will discuss in detail. Finally, it is the answer to the question ‘Target’, i.e. WHO was told.
The tool element is divided into three: written, verbal and non-verbal communication methods. There are other sub-branches, but these three will suffice for now. We can say that written communication is everything we put down on paper. Let’s add “everything you type on our keyboard” to make it relevant to our age. Whatever you are writing, whether on a keyboard or pen and paper, is written communication.
Verbal communication is communicating by speaking. One of the professions where this method of communication is prominent is teaching and training. Likewise, in order to explain, convey and enlighten a subject, it is necessary to have a command of language and method. There are rules and regulations and it is very important. The concept of the art of eloquence did not exist for nothing; we should take care that it does not disappear. There is research showing that the extinction of races begins with the extinction of language. Even and even research 21. yy. that by the end of the world’s history, about 1,500 languages will have disappeared. And in this case races too. I emphasize that language, our language, is a very crucial issue that we need to focus on, and I continue from where I left off.
Let’s turn to nonverbal communication as the last communication method. Non-verbal communication includes your body language, facial expressions and gestures. In other words, it is a form of communication that is silent and non-verbal, but that you establish with your attitude and demeanor. But never mind that it is non-verbal, the fact that it covers 55% of communication between people shows us how effective our attitude and demeanor are. Body language, our behavior and gestures. As Ziya Pasha once said, ” one’s actions speak louder than one’s words “.
How is it that our behavior can express more than verbal communication? How can it be more effective? Because it is sincere, it reflects reality. Because at some point he doesn’t play the game and gives himself away. Because sincerity does not and cannot lie. It does not pretend, it does not put on a show, it does not deceive and mislead. No matter how hard one tries, it cannot be emptied, it cannot be used unnecessarily, it cannot be copy-pasted. It exists or it does not exist, but it is always embodied in the state. It is reflected in the eyes. Its home is the heart and the heart never harbors lies. Because it cannot accommodate. As Emel Sayın said, the eyes are the mirror of the heart, they know no lies.
So why, despite everything, do we experience problems, conflicts and disagreements in our communication with our spouses, friends and relatives?
If you ask me, it is very much due to suspicion. So we misinterpret the message from whoever sent it by incorporating our opinion and we give it meanings that are not there. There is no harm in interpretation, since Turkish is a language very open to interpretation. What needs to be considered is the way in which we interpret. If our heart is blinded and filled with misguidance, we can misunderstand and negatively perceive others. As a result, we may have difficulty in establishing healthy communication (verbal or non-verbal) and, even worse, we may cause unnecessary arguments, fights and parting of ways. What did the Prophet say? Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi: No matter what you say, what you say is as much as the other person understands.
So purity of heart is important. Quantum physics provides ample evidence. Yes, emotions and thoughts shape people. Energies because. The more negativity you nurture in your heart, the more the other person evolves. In short, it’s about you, it’s about your interpretation and it’s doubtful that it reflects reality.
That’s why I say ‘Wei Wu Wei’ to communicate in a healthy way. That is, consciously doing what not to do. Not to harbor ulterior motives, not to misunderstand, not to interpret negatively, not to think badly, in a nutshell. What else should we do? Let us think well, say well, act well. We know that often nothing is what it seems or is said to be. We are always obliged to have good faith. If the intention of the person you slander is good, you will be the loser, says the great Sufi Hz. Ken’an al-Rifa’i.
Although science provides us with new insights into methods of communication every day, the most powerful and shortest way is undoubtedly through the heart, and through the heart; through sincere love. Love flourishes only through sharing.
Verbal or Non-verbal…
May we always have goodwill and share love…